We try so hard to change those around us. The closer we are to people, the more we try to change them. The closer they are to us, the harder they try to change us. With so much effort put into changing people, why is there so little change?
Each year we renew our resolve to change ourselves, to turn a new leaf. By March, we have a hard time even remembering what those resolutions were–Spending the rest of the year focused on what other people are or are not doing.
Therein lies the problem. We cannot change other people. All the effort put into changing folks is utterly wasted effort. We can only change ourselves. Once we can effect real change in ourselves, and maintain it consistently for a period of time (three months? two years? eight years?), only then will we see a reflection in those who around us.
Changing oneself is the classic “easier said than done”. Everyone around us is utterly invested in us being as we are. We are utterly invested in being as we are. We are utterly invested in everyone around us being as they are. Consequently, everybody works very hard to keep everybody else from changing. Pushing buttons. “Going there”. Bribing. Extorting. Doing what we must to pull us and everybody else back into familiar ruts.
If the people we interact with (love, work with, struggle against) change, then either how we interact with them must change, or we must stop interacting with them. Hence a change in them, causes a change in us, however slight.
And therein lies the key.
If your relationships suck, you must change. If the world around you needs work, you must change. If your business is not awesome, you must change. It’s your only other option.
It is imperative that you be different.
The only way to change others is to be different.
The only way to improve the world is to be different.
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